‘You must have your hands full’ ’double trouble’ ’was it buy one get one free’ – a few of my favourite comments I get from strangers on a near daily basis when out and about with the twins. Everyone likes to think they understand what life is like for me as a twin mum – I smile and politely nod back, but want I really want to do is shout from the rooftops just how special they really are. The girls have recently turned one, I am back to work full time and now finally feels like the right time to share my story:
I was feeling unwell on a work trip abroad in November 2021, took a test when I got home as a ‘ruling out’ method and to our shock, I was pregnant! We weren’t panning on trying for a baby until my mid 30s, but we had recently got engaged, had a house big enough and good jobs, so thought how hard could it be? ‘Unplanned, but very wanted’ was our chosen phrase when asked…
We went for an early scan at 6 weeks and everything looked perfect. I had the full host of terrible pregnancy symptoms and decided to tell close family over Christmas (and to explain why I was white as a ghost and not drinking!) However, one Saturday in January I started bleeding. We ran to our closest early pregnancy unit and after a 5 hour wait we were told that no scanning machine was available and to wait until Monday. Filled with dread, we booked a private scan on the Sunday and found out that I had a missed miscarriage at 11.5 weeks. We weren’t told much else other than to go home and wait for things to happen naturally, which it did a few days later – and it remains one of the most traumatising experiences of my life.
I fell pregnant again in April 2022 and had an early loss at 6 weeks. I missed my best friend’s hen do and a family party for my 30th birthday. The timing could not have been worse, but I knew the recovery would be somewhat easier given how early the loss was and tried to keep my chin up. The NHS wouldn’t intervene as I had only had two losses in a row, so we visited a private gynaecologist in London to carry out some basic tests. We were advised that everything seemed normal and to keep trying. With the help of follicle tracking, I became pregnant again in August 2022 and with the reassurance of the test results, we really thought it was third time lucky. Again, I had terrible sickness and lots of pregnant symptoms. Around 12.5 weeks I started bleeding and I knew instantly what was happening. It was another missed miscarriage and I required surgery this time to remove the baby, which we later found out was a boy. I spent night after night trawling through clinical trials trying to understand the reason for recurrent miscarriages – what was wrong with my body? I was only 30, ate very well, exercised, drank occasionally and was in really good shape – nothing made much sense.
I came across Professor Shehata and the CRP clinic and felt as if the answer might be an elevated level of Natural Killer cells, which was causing my immune system to effectively reject all of my pregnancies. We met with Professor who listened carefully to my history and we put a plan in place to carry out NK cell testing. A few weeks later we met to talk through the results and it turns out I did have an extremely high level of NK cells. Knowing that I wasn’t just the ‘unlucky 1 in 100’ who suffers with recurrent miscarriages and having an actual medical diagnosis gave us so much hope. Professor recommended steroids, aspirin, intralipids as well as pre-natal supplements. I was also having trouble ovulating after the surgery, so we agreed to do the superovulation protocol with Letrozole to give my body the best chance of getting pregnant again. It was tough to balance all the appointments, scans and treatment with my demanding job, especially as I was having to travel from Essex to Epsom every couple of weeks. On top of that, I was pumped full of Progesterone and Leteozole! I often found myself hooked up to my intralipid drip trying to send work emails with one hand. The midwifes were so supportive and always on hand to try and cheer me up. I fell pregnant on my second super ovulation cycle. Unlike most couples, seeing a positive pregnancy test for us did not mean that we were guaranteed a baby and we were terrified to say to the least. We had our first 6 week scan with Ms Edge who quite literally held me up as I was shaking so much with nerves. I knew by her face straight away that it was twins – she squeezed my hand and promised me everything was looking good at 6 weeks. We lived scan to scan and once we hit the 10 week mark, Ms Edge reassured us that the miscarriage risk now dropped significantly and we should be prepared for this pregnancy to reach term. I finally believed this might actually be happening. The CRP clinic were always on hand to answer my queries all throughout my pregnancy. We had our 20 week anomaly scan with the CRP clinic who reassured us again that everything looked fine. We managed to get married and enjoy our honeymoon before things started to go downhill again! Around 26 weeks my blood pressure shot through the roof and I had protein in my urine. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia and for the next 8 weeks I was in hospital every 48 hours for monitoring and was a frequent overnight visitor for the many times they couldn’t get my blood pressure under control. One of our twins was suffering from restricted growth as her placenta was failing. My kidneys and liver function started to rapidly decline and the consultant decided that I wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer. The decision was made to get the girls out at exactly 35 weeks. The girls developed respiratory distress syndrome straight after birth and then went on to develop sepsis. The final stretch of our battle was 12 long days in the NICU before we could finally come home as a family. Still to this day I struggle with pregnancy announcements or being around pregnant women – even though I am now a mother of two! Recurrent loss and infertility is not for the faint hearted – but we did it, we have two beautiful healthy children. I share my story in the hope that it helps others to keep going. I refused to give up, I followed the science and trusted my body. I will forever be eternally grateful to Professor Shehata and Ms Edge for giving me the greatest gifts. The girls are here against all odds, and that’s all down to the CRPteam and the medical team at Broomfield that saved them (and me!)
What more can I say – other than thank you for everything.
Alice